A Girl's Guide For Girls To The 2015 RWC
Unless you live under a rock somewhere outside Dullstroom you would know that we are only days away from the kick-off of the 2015 Rugby World Cup.
As with good genes, not everyone was born blessed with the ability to grasp the game of rugby. This is even more true for those of us who are primarily estrogen producing super-machines.
To us being a hooker entails having seedy sex for money while standing in line to catch a flying object usually takes place at a wedding and involves a bouquet or a garter. We don't care about rucking and mauling and to 'prop it, lock it and drop it' just seems like hard work.
As little as we might care about a tournament of a sport that involves 30 aggressive men with over-active sweat glands fighting over a ball, the men in our lives are as excited as chubby kids at an all-you-can-eat buffet. They have been counting down the days till this year's event from as soon as the final whistle blew after 2011 final.
For the sake of universal relationship bliss it has become imperative to educate the rugby on all things Rugby World Cup:
The 2015 RWC is the 8th of it's kind and will be hosted by England from 18 September to 31 October 2015 (Yep, that's a whopping 44 days of TV sets being permanently tuned into the sport channels)
The 20 teams competing are divided into 4 pools of 5 teams each (Pools being groups and not large holes in the ground filled with water. We are talking about rugby, not synchronized swimming)
Each pool is a single round-robin of 10 games in which each team plays one match against each of the other teams. Teams are awarded 4 points for a win, 2 points for a draw and none for a loss.
To add to the confusion bonus points will be awarded should a team score more than 4 tries or lose by 7 points or less. (Be sure to draw up a table and keep a calculator nearby) The teams finishing in the top 2 places of each pool will advance to the quarter-finals.
Understanding the quarter-finals takes a lot of effort and is probably best done with an open bottle of wine on hand:
This is how it will go down:
Winner of Pool B vs runner-up of Pool A
Winner of Pool C vs runner-up of Pool D
Winner of Pool D vs runner-up of Pool C
Winner of Pool A vs runner-up of Pool B
At this point we will be left with 4 teams who will compete in the Semi-finals with 2 ultimately moving on the Final which is set to take place on 31 October 2015. (there is also a Bronze Final but with bronze being such an unbecoming color it's not really worth a mention)
With the format out of the way we can move onto the teams. There are 20 teams competing with only 5 or so having a realistic chance of making it to the final. Although it will make for good entertainment to watch gutsy teams like Romania and Namibia take on the rugby power-houses I think they will be taking the long walk down the airport runway long before Queen Elizabeth has had her second cup of tea.
If you want to get in on the betting action it is probably best to throw your weight behind New Zealand although supporting the Springboks will probably score you more brownie points with your South African loving friends. If you are merely looking for some eye candy then the French or Americans might satisfy your needs (nothing quite like a 7ft tall delectable Yank with his head between the legs of another man).
It might boost your progress up the rugby fan-girl ladder if you can throw around some of the big names of this year's tournament. You only have to remember these 5 names and you will be well on your way towards sounding like a pro:
Nehe Milner-Skudder
His name might be a mouthful but the All Black back has the ability to put any Salsa dancer to shame with his side-step.
David Pocock
With a surname like that the Australian flanker better live up to his reputation of being one of the best in the business.
Jesse Kriel
All you need to know about Jesse is that he is gorgeous, plays for the Bokke and has incredible ball skills (no pun intended)
Louis Picamoles
The French No 8 with the fiery temperament is finally back in form after a series of scandals and injuries and is rated one of the best in the world.
Fumiaki Tanaka
The Japanese scrum-half who also plays for the Highlanders could prove to be a thorn in the side of many a seasoned player.
So now you know what 'RWC' stands for. You should be vaguely familiar with the tournament format and you can even throw around some rugby terms and player names. All that is left to do is to pick your team, make some pompoms and cheer your way through the next 44 days.
Buckle up ladies, it's going to be one hell of a ride!
NB: No rugby players were hurt during the compilation of this article
For full team info and fixtrues please visit www.rugbyworldcup.com
